It’s late, and I should be getting ready for bed. Instead, I’m on this blog, putting together some words, hoping it makes sense. I’m in pain, which I seem to be most of the time now. Damn back pains! I hate it.
In case anyone has been wondering how I’m doing, I’ve been drugged up from painkillers and my regular meds for the last few days, so I’ve been knocked out a majority of the last few days. At least I’m getting sleep, huh? I had a crazy, but good weekend, because one of my boys from Meridian came up. I don’t get out the house often, besides running personal or business errands; every once in a while I’ll be down the street at one of the bars, having one of my favorite drinks.
I have another post due in a couple of days, and I’m trying to narrow it down between two topics: Insomnia or bipolar and addiction. The idea of talking about insomnia is a little obvious, but the discussion about bipolar and addiction came up because someone brought it up in one of comments on my last post. Right now, I don’t know how I’m going to discuss this topic in 500 to 700 words (if I talk about it), but I’ll figure out something. It’s another topic I can relate to.
But I’m not going to talk about that now, but I will probably do a follow-up after the entry is posted. Going back to what I was talking about earlier about the last few days, there are some people who don’t understand how I operate and what I go through. While a lot of people know that I have back and knee issues, not many people know just how they have been affecting me lately. A lot of people don’t know that my back locked out on my for the umpteenth time a couple of weeks ago, and I’ve been paying for it ever since. The only ones who know are a couple of people who I deal with on a consistent basis (kind of goes back to my last entry, when I talked about people at least seeing if I’m alive). That being said, when I’m not working on the business, I’ve been doing a lot of self-care. The side effect, which is a blessing and a curse, is that I’ve been sleeping a lot.
Because of that, some people are offended because they haven’t heard from me the way that they think that I should. My response to that is stop taking it personally. If something is wrong with me, whether it’s physical or I’m going through a bipolar episode, I don’t always outwardly communicate. I’m spending a lot of time trying to recuperate. Trying to take it personally and making it seem as though I’m inconsiderate because of it is actually inconsiderate on your part. Am I saying don’t check on me? No, I’m not saying that at all. I’m just saying is don’t be upset and get your underwear in a bunch if I don’t reach out to you every hour, or even every day. Understand what I’m going through, and don’t be selfish about it.
When I’m better, we can talk all day long; or at least as long as my schedule and patience allows it.
Why am I putting out this message? After all, it probably seem like JB is ranting again. I kind of am, but there’s a method to my madness. For one, I need people who don’t understand me and never really dealt with me to get it through their heads. Two, I know there are people out there who knows exactly how I feel and talking about.
That being said, I’m going to drug myself up for the night, and nurse this back pain that I feel starting to come back.
I’ll see you around…