My name Jacob Burrage. My pen and business name is JB Burrage. Most people who know me before the JB era call me Jacob. People after that call me JB. What’s so sad about that is that some people don’t even know, or acknowledge, the fact that my name is Jacob, and I was Jacob long before I was JB. There’s a story of how JB got started, but I will explain that later.
I hate being called Jake. The only one who can get away with that is my mama, and that’s because she calls me a certain nickname that I’m not going to tell anyone. It’s not because I’m ashamed, but it’s because it’s something that I cherish, even though she might not know it. Maybe one day I will tell the world. Otherwise, you can call me Jacob, Jay, or JB.
I tend to be a dreamer. Because of the fact that I’m a dreamer, I left the comforts of my hometown and went into the Army, throwing myself into a vast unknown world. Without that dream and the Army, I wouldn’t have realized my strengths and weaknesses.
I’m criticized often because I tend to be a long-range goal seeker than a short-term planner. I actually do plan for the short-term. But I feel that if there’s no long-range plan, then how will you plan your short-term.
Right now, I feel penalized because I disclosed to the world that I am bipolar. People want to now use my words and posts to critique and tell me how to live my life. They are ignoring the fact that I did this because I want to show that I’m not perfect, and I’m not the traditional patient, but I know how to take care of myself. I want other people like me to know that with the right support systems, as well as with their own self-determination, they can do the same.
Like I explain over and over, I’m now living in my truth. I will never stop saying that, as long as this blog/website is active. I’m living in my truth. While support is welcomed and needed, lecturing and criticizing is not. I’m not even bothered by what the world has to say, because the world will say anything and try to demolish you with it. My issue is with people who are supposed to be close to me, or trying to get close to me. Even though I try to be a positive person, I have my battles with negativity. I don’t need your negativity and judgement to add to it. It’s not welcomed nor desired.
I’m not some bitter man that nobody can approach. I am reserved, I admit that. I analyze everyone I come in contact with. That’s why I tend to be very quiet in the beginning. But I’m always open to friendly, nonjudgmental conversation.
A little secret…I’m not as quiet as I used to be. But if I tend to be quiet over several meetings, it’s because I’m still analyzing you, and you haven’t given me a reason to be more open. Some people have tried to force conversation out of me…won’t happen. That makes you a target in my eyes. I mean come on, if I’m not fully open with people with people who are supposed to be super close to me, what makes you think that you’re going to get to that level with me and I don’t know you? But as with anyone, your actions towards me dictates how I act towards you.
If you want to get to know me and hear some of my stories (I have plenty), just sit down and talk to me. Don’t try to tell me how to live my life, just like I can’t tell you how to live yours.
I’ll be back later.