Tuesday Night Reflections: April 11, 2017

Anyone who knows me personally or semi-personally should know that I go to sleep extremely late. Tonight is definitely not different, otherwise I wouldn’t be on this blog right now, making an entry.

Once again, I know a lot of people aren’t seeing this yet, so it’s giving me enough room to play a little bit. However, I know as the audience grows and more people start checking this out, I know my past posts are going to come back to haunt me. It would be interesting to see what would come out of that.

Despite the name of the post, I know that technically it’s no longer Tuesday. But I still wanted to use this time to reflect a little on what has happened. My Monday was crazy, and I spent Tuesday in recovering from Monday. Simply put, I didn’t do shit on Tuesday. But I don’t feel upset about it; I have plenty of days where it’s hard to get out of bed or leave the house for various reasons.

This is actually a little less about reflections from the day as an announcement of sorts, though I will probably start doing something like that once a week on a day like Saturday or Sunday.

I want to use my blog not only for my stories, rants, interactive but provocative topics, etc, I also want to use it as a tool to help people. Again, I feel like I can make this announcement now because not many people are checking out the site right now, but I know jbburrage.com gets traffic. My announcement is that I am one of the millions of people suffering with bipolar disorder. I take medication for it, which helps sometimes; other times they make me extremely drowsy. I’m not saying this for sympathy, but rather to show people that this is one of the face of bipolar disorder. Pretty regular, huh?

I will talk about it more, and document my struggles with it as the blog continues to develop. I used to keep a private blog to keep track, but now I’m using a public one. However, I will not divulge the most deeply private parts of me here. Simply too private and personal.

Some people might think that I’m talking too much about my personal life, and maybe they are right. But in order to start a dialogue, especially in the African-American community, and help educate people in order for them to help others and get rid of the stigmatizing against all mental illnesses, more people need to make the move. I’ve hidden mine for years. My illness is a big factor (but not the only factor) behind why sometimes I can be all over your news feeds and releasing massive projects with heavy promotions, then one day disappear for months. A simple thing like what I just said shows that people need to be educated and made aware of what’s going on with their friends and loved ones when it comes to these illnesses. Education and research is the key, and can be a difference between life and death.

In case you don’t know, bipolar disorder is a very crippling and debilitating disorder, as I pointed out about my activities in the last paragraph. My illness is crippling because I spend a lot of time in depression, with few months of feeling fine, then feeling what is called hypomania. I will explain all of this at a later time, but just know that hypomania isn’t as extreme as full-blown mania, but can be just as destructive. I also was told that I have mixed features with my disorder, meaning I can be hypomanic and depressed at the same time. It’s not pretty’ it’s down right frustrating.

That being said, I will talk more about these things, including my own personal journey, over the weeks and months. I’m going to let all of this sink in, myself included. I hope everyone have a good night, and I’ll see you around.

P.S.- I can’t wait to do some video blogging for you all. I personally don’t know how to do it outside of Facebook Live and other social media sites, so my team will get on that. This blog thing is really exciting.

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